OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
