I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
