I want to walk on stilts...naked
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
