guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
