he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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