your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
