For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think people are normalizing furries
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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