OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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