I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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