The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
