What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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