idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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