I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
