Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
