i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize