My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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