Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
