More tranny stories later!
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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