don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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