when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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