I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
