Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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