My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
