Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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