I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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