I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
