yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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