This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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