like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize