whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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