I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
