so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We talked him into tasing himself.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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