Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
