dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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