my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize