Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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