so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just tell him i said nine months
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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