And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
