He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The air was thick with penises
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
