Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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