Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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