The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize