i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize