and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
