i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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