Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i think im in europe. pls send help
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
