I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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