she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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