is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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