sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
