i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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