Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize