I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
