Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
where are you?
Hypothermia
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
