But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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