the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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