he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize