I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
