After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm getting married
To pizza
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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