This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
